The Lord and Master (and Camp Cook)

Does this make them flapScotts?

Reservoir Dog

Keeping up with the Joneses

Scott: The neighbors are peeping toms.
Kate: You don't think they're just looking at the rain?
Scott: No, they have big windows for that. They were watching me.
Kate: Did they catch you picking your nose?
Scott: Maybe.
Kate: Did you get a good one?
Scott: I was going to, but they were looking at me. It ruined the mood.
Kate: You'll get your mojo back, just wait.

By any other name...

Les Fleurs

A short list of projects needed to complete our home

Range vent hood
Garage door openers (2)
Gutters (?)
Master bathroom/closet
Servants' quarters
S&M dungeon
Holo-deck

I may have been improvising a bit there towards the end.

Obsession for Dogs

Blueberry?

Kate: You wash the windows and re-trim the door and weed the flower beds and water the lawn and work and I sit on my ass and read books.
Scott: I don't have a problem with that; just you do.
Kate: Yes, I do. And I'm growing into a giant frantic guilt-muffin.
Erin: Mmmm, muffin.

Veni Legi Vici Scholarship Foundation Annual Book Sale

The book sale this year was a tremendous success! Huge thank yous to all of those who donated books, hauled books, packed books, sold books, watched my nephews, and fed me during three days of book insanity. We did it!

Henry, of course, was a HUGE help. He counted books, made change, sold a book for A BILLION DOLLARS!, and was an all around sweet guy all weekend. Good job, buddy.

Photo credit goes to Kyle, brother-in-law extraordinaire. Thanks, man, for all your help.

Pedicure, doggy-style

Kate: "Scott, stop it. That's disgusting."
Scott: "It's only gross when he sticks his tongue between my toes."
Kate: "Not when he's chewing on your toenails?"
Scott: "No. But I wish he'd get his fangs under 'em and clean some of that junk out of there. Good boy, Hopkins."

A very, very, very fine house

So, I've had a few days off, and I needed a project.

Building this doghouse began as a very simple project, necessitating the use of very simple tools. Then Scott got involved (does this sound familiar?), and it became far more complicated (I'm talking to you, DAD). Then we had to insulate, and use the table saw, and fashion outlookers and fascia and drip edge. Then it had to match the house. These boys and their T&A. It's just a damn doghouse.

So here it is. Mr. Hopkins's house. He's been in it for a grand total of fifteen seconds. But it was a great fifteen seconds, let me tell you.

Not tutored?

The vet told us to restrict Mr. Hopkins's activity for 5-7 days. Right. Notice how crunched up and filthy his collar is - and this picture was taken two hours after we left the vet's office. "Oh, I just had major surgery? Really? Why haven't you thrown that ball yet? Play? Play?! PLAY, DAMN YOU!"

Five to seven days? Not on your life.

Masochism, defined

When in areas to which you are not native, or with which your digestive system is not thoroughly acquainted, it is in your best interests to order your meat products medium-cooked, if not well-done. However, when the meat product in question is a bacon-wrapped tenderloin with potato pie and spiced spinach, and you have already consumed more than your fair share of $15 glasses of sangiovese, it is understandably hard to resist ordering it bloody. Not rare, bloody.

In the car yesterday, between bouts of stomach cramps and vile asphyxiating gas (I was not driving because it was imperative for me to concentrate on not crapping my pants), I suggested to Scott that I would happily undergo another four days of this torture for just a few more bites of that delicious steak. God, it was good.

A short list of things Hopkins ate while on vacation in Arizona:

a pen
a stick
several rocks of varying sizes
a small notebook with "Red Feather Lodge" letterhead
a cigar butt (short, but not too big around)
several cigarette butts
a medium-sized piece of discarded drywall
dog poop
several of his own puppy teeth
a prickly pear cactus
Erin
an apple
half of a package of fig newtons (original flavor)

Oh my heck!

When I'm in Utah, I have a compulsion to drop the f-bomb more than usual. Also, "Goddamnit!" and "Shitballs!"